Tuesday 9 July 2013

Fear

I guess it’s always going to be a struggle, the fear. The fear that everything’s going to end, at some point. It’s inevitable, you know. We’re walking along this bridge and the sun is slipping below the horizon and our feet are balanced precariously on the tightrope above the ocean. The fall is lethal, the waves rigid like cement. We’re so close to death, yet we have no inkling of what lies after. It’s just a big empty nothingness, a black hole that is all at once void of everything, a never-ending expanse, and full of crushing everythingness. But I guess it’s all in what we choose to do with this struggle, the fear of being blown overboard by the smallest gush of wind. We can collapse beneath the weight of being scared, stay nestled beneath the safe comfort of our kingdoms, plan out or days to annihilate any space for mishaps. We can choose not to breathe a word outside what is expected for fear of unacceptance. We can succumb to the crushingness.

 Or we can say fuck it. We’re given one world, one heart, one set of lungs to breathe in every molecule of life this world has to offer. It’s right there, lying before you. It’s stretched out and its arms are open. It’s not too scary, either. It won’t hurt you, not too badly. Not in any way you can’t handle. Not in any way that’s not meant to be. Not spitefully. We can choose to explore every corner of this beautiful planet; meet as many people with as many beaming smiles as we can. Because screw fear. It’s only going to keep you walking the same route home; it’s only going to keep you filled with longing. And eventually it’s going to eat you up. It’ll consume you as you get older and you live longer because you’re safe and you’re home and you’re swaddled in regret. And your hair greys and maybe you think of that missed chance you had with that one person that you were too scared to take. Maybe you wish you had taken that flight, made that move. But I promise you, if you succumb to the fear, if you do not use it as fuel to burn you, to propel you ahead, you will die empty. You will have fallen off the bridge anyway like everybody else but you will not be pulling your memories down with you. You will have nothing, and your empty-handed tumble into nothingness will be unnoticed. Don’t be unnoticed.

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