Monday 15 July 2013
Sleep Until It Stops Raining
And everything hurts in all the cracks where daylight stopped shining three years ago. Because you were left here with nothing but a bad taste in your mouth and a nauseous stomach. You were left with creased skin and hollow arms and ghosts touching your bones. So you slept until November stopped raining and you wished for sun. But when it came it burned your skin and you swore never again until tomorrow when you went looking for fire. And your bones ache for someone next to you in bed just breathing because sometimes you're scared you'll stop breathing. And you carry on like this and you try to breathe through the animals clawing at your stomach and the sadness. The sadness that is an anchor tied to both of your ankles and you're scared of deep water. The sadness that is cold when your skin is burning and November in the middle of summer. And you close your eyes and dream of sharp objects and being loved until her eyes are razor blades and her skin burns to touch. Because what is the difference between your masochistic tendencies and loving someone you will never have. So you fall asleep hollow and hurting and lie on the floor until you're barely a whisper of sweet nothings and you talk yourself down again and you're okay and the tears don't hurt.
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