highs and lows

I am all at once breathless from the sheer beauty of everything around me
And fighting for breath in the chaotic whirlwind that has been the past two months
It's all little things
It could be worse
Alone, these things are manageable
Trivial, almost
But piled up on top of each other and on top of me
They seem insurmountable
Inconceivable
Giving up seems reasonable sometimes
When little failures add up and I feel like everything is too hard
But all the little moments of breathless beauty
All the little moments of satisfied happiness
Of I did it
They make the lows worth it
Because at the end of the day I am alive and I am writing this and I am happy
Deep down, in those internal caverns where it really matters
I am happy